Flowers, Filters, and Feelings — How Do I Know If My Relationship Is God-Led or Just Romantic Hype?
Peace of Christ be with you all.
❓ Questions You May Be Carrying Today
It's Valentine's Day. Your feed is full of roses, dinner dates, couple photos, and love confessions. Maybe you're in a relationship. Maybe you're single. Maybe you're somewhere in between — talking to someone, feeling something, but not sure what it all means.
And quietly, beneath all the excitement and aesthetics, you might be asking:
- Is this relationship real — or just something that looks good online?
- Am I following my heart… or just following a feeling?
- How do I know if God is in this, or if I'm just caught up in the romance?
- Does every butterflies-in-my-stomach moment mean it's meant to be?
- Can something feel so right and still be wrong for me spiritually?
These are honest questions. And today, when the whole world is celebrating love, it's okay to pause and ask: What kind of love am I actually building?
Let's talk about it — gently, honestly, and without judgment.
📖 What the Bible Says About Love (The Real Kind)
The world teaches us that love is a feeling.
The Bible teaches us that love is a choice, a commitment, and a reflection of God's character.
In 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, Paul describes love this way:
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
Read that again slowly.
Now compare it to what you see today:
- Love that needs constant validation through likes and comments
- Love that's conditional on how someone makes you look
- Love that exists only when feelings are high
- Love that fades when things get hard
The difference is clear.
Real love doesn't perform. It perseveres.
Real love doesn't hype. It honors.
Real love doesn't chase trends. It builds trust.
If your relationship is built more on filters than faithfulness, more on feelings than fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23) — it's time to ask some deeper questions.
🌹 The Problem With Romantic Hype Culture
We live in a generation where relationships are aesthetic projects.
People curate their love lives like Instagram grids. Every date needs to be photogenic. Every moment needs to be shareable. Relationship goals become performance goals.
And somewhere in all that noise, we've forgotten to ask if the relationship is actually healthy, God-honoring, and spiritually life-giving.
Here's what romantic hype culture teaches:
- If it feels good, it must be right
- If the chemistry is strong, God must be in it
- If you're attracted to them, that's enough
- If they make you happy, nothing else matters
But Jesus calls us to something deeper.
In Matthew 7:16-20, He says:
"By their fruit you will recognize them... A good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit."
So let me ask you gently:
What fruit is this relationship producing in your life?
- Are you growing closer to God, or drifting away?
- Are you becoming more patient, kind, and self-controlled — or more anxious, jealous, and distracted?
- Does this person encourage your faith, or ignore it?
- Are you praying more, or hiding more?
Feelings can lie. Filters definitely lie. But fruit tells the truth.
💭 The Difference Between God-Led and Hype-Led Relationships
Let me break it down simply:
🌿 A God-Led Relationship:
- Draws you closer to Jesus
- Encourages purity, honesty, and respect
- Builds you up spiritually
- Can be talked about openly with godly mentors
- Includes prayer, patience, and accountability
- Bears the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control (Galatians 5:22-23)
- Feels peaceful even when it's not always exciting
🔥 A Hype-Led Relationship:
- Pulls you away from spiritual disciplines
- Thrives on secrecy, physical chemistry, or emotional intensity
- Makes you defensive when others express concern
- Lacks prayer or spiritual foundation
- Feeds on likes, compliments, and external validation
- Leaves you anxious, confused, or spiritually drained
- Feels thrilling but unstable
Chemistry is not the same as compatibility.
Attraction is not the same as alignment.
Butterflies are not the same as blessing.
God can give you all of those things — chemistry, attraction, excitement — within a relationship that's also rooted in His will. But hype alone? That fades. And when it does, if there's no foundation underneath, everything collapses.
🧭 How to Know If God Is Really in This
Here are some gentle, practical questions to ask yourself:
1. Can you pray about this relationship without feeling convicted?
If you're hiding parts of the relationship from God in prayer, that's a red flag. God isn't afraid of your honesty — but He does want your heart to stay tender to His voice.
2. Does this person respect your faith?
Not just tolerate it. Not just think it's cute. Do they actively support your walk with God? Do they pray with you? Encourage you to stay in Scripture? Honor your boundaries?
3. Are you becoming more like Christ, or less?
Colossians 3:12-14 calls us to clothe ourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Is this relationship helping you grow in those qualities?
4. Would you be okay if this relationship stayed private — no posts, no pictures, no public validation?
If the relationship only feels real when others see it, it's being fueled by hype, not substance.
5. What do wise, godly people say?
Proverbs 12:15 says, "The way of fools seems right to them, but the wise listen to advice."If mature Christians in your life are expressing concern, listen. Don't dismiss it as jealousy or old-fashioned thinking.
6. Is this relationship leading you toward purity or compromise?
1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 says, "It is God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable."
If the relationship constantly pushes physical boundaries, that's not God leading — that's temptation.
🪜 Practical Steps to Guard Your Heart Today
Especially on a day like Valentine's, when emotions run high and the pressure to perform is real, here's what you can do:
1. Pray first.
Before you post, before you respond, before you make any decisions — talk to God. Ask Him:
"Is this relationship honoring You? Is my heart in the right place? Am I being led by Your Spirit or by my emotions?"
2. Check your motivations.
Why are you in this relationship? Is it because you're genuinely growing together in faith, or because you don't want to be alone? Because they challenge you to be better, or because they make you feel wanted?
Loneliness is not a reason to settle. And attraction is not a reason to compromise.
3. Set boundaries — and keep them.
Decide ahead of time:
- What you will and won't do physically
- How much time you'll spend together vs. in community and in personal time with God
- What role faith will play in the relationship
If your partner pressures you to bend those boundaries, that's not love — that's manipulation.
4. Stay rooted in community.
Don't isolate yourself in the relationship. Stay connected to your church, your small group, your Christian friends. Isolation is where compromise grows.
5. Be willing to let go if God asks.
This is the hardest one. But if God is showing you that this relationship isn't His best for you, trust Him. He's not trying to steal your joy — He's protecting something sacred in you.
Proverbs 3:5-6 says:
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight."
🙋 Common Questions
Q: Is it wrong to enjoy Valentine's Day as a Christian?
Not at all. Celebrating love, giving thoughtful gifts, enjoying a nice date — none of that is sinful. What matters is where your heart is. Is the day about honoring love God's way, or feeding into shallow, hype-driven culture?
Q: What if I really love this person, but I'm not sure God is in it?
Love is beautiful. But love alone isn't enough. Ask God for clarity. Fast, pray, seek counsel. And be honest with yourself: is this love drawing you closer to God, or pulling you away?
Q: Can a relationship that started in hype become God-led?
Yes. If both people are willing to surrender it to God, invite Him in, set boundaries, and rebuild on His foundation. But both have to be willing. One person can't carry the spiritual weight alone.
Q: How do I break up with someone I care about if I realize it's not God's will?
With honesty, kindness, and courage. You can say: "I care about you, but I don't feel peace that this relationship is where God is leading me. I need to honor that." It will hurt. But honoring God always leads to healing, even when it's painful at first.
Q: What if I'm single and everyone around me is celebrating today?
Being single is not a punishment. It's a season. Use it to grow closer to God, to become the person He's calling you to be. Psalm 37:4 says, "Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart." Trust His timing. He hasn't forgotten you.
Q: Is physical attraction a sign from God?
Attraction is natural and good. But it's not a compass. Attraction can exist in relationships that are unhealthy, spiritually mismatched, or even toxic. Let attraction be part of the equation, not the entire answer.
🧠 A Moment of Reflection
Close your eyes for a moment and ask yourself:
If no one ever saw this relationship — no photos, no posts, no validation from others — would I still feel good about it?
Does this person make me want to pray more, or less?
Am I loving them the way 1 Corinthians 13 describes — patiently, kindly, without envy or pride — or am I loving the idea of being loved?
Let the Holy Spirit speak into that quiet space.
🙏 A Prayer for Today
Lord,
Today the world is celebrating love — and I want to celebrate it too, in a way that honors You.
Help me see clearly. If this relationship is from You, bless it, grow it, and let it bear fruit that glorifies Your name.
But if it's built on hype, feelings, or anything less than Your will — give me the courage to step back. Give me the faith to trust that You have something better.
Teach me what real love looks like. Not the kind that performs, but the kind that perseveres. Not the kind that chases trends, but the kind that builds trust.
Guard my heart. Keep me close to You. Let my life reflect Your love above all else.
In Jesus' name,
Amen.
🌱 In Closing
Valentine's Day isn't the enemy. Romance isn't the enemy. Even social media isn't the enemy.
The enemy is letting anything — even something as beautiful as love — take the place that only God should occupy in your heart.
If your relationship draws you closer to Jesus, honors purity, builds you up spiritually, and bears good fruit — celebrate it today with joy and gratitude.
But if it's draining you, distracting you, or leading you into compromise — don't ignore that. God is speaking. And He's speaking because He loves you.
You don't have to have it all figured out today. You don't have to make any big decisions right this second.
But do this: invite God into the center of your love life. Not as an afterthought. Not as a religious decoration. But as the foundation, the guide, and the source.
Because when God leads your relationships, they don't just look good.
They become good. Deep. Lasting. Real.
And that's the kind of love worth celebrating — today and every day.
Stay blessed, keep praying, and continue knowing God.
— Adam Xt